Early Christmas


I feel like Christmas is coming early this year. The Inspired Market is this week here in Rancho Cucamonga and I can’t wait!

I have been working hard getting ready and it is getting so close! So much good has come from this endeavor that even if they cancelled it tomorrow, I would feel like I’ve overcome something huge.

Most of the good is intangible and probably not even recognizable outside my home but it is very real.

Being able to create alone, without interruption has been luxurious and restorative than any pampering I can imagine. Seeing an idea and trying it immediately has awakened a part of my brain that has been shut down for awhile. Like using my arm again when it has been in a sling for weeks. Something that has come as a surprise to me is how gratifying it is to see all the tools I have collected over the years. Several times over the last few weeks I would think, “I wish I had some pinking shears.” or some other tool and then I would come across it in when I was looking for something else a few minutes later.  It is also really good for me to have a hard deadline, I’m a terrible procrastinator and this has given me a specific goal that I can’t put off.

So, let me see:

Canopy  Check!

Lights  Check!

Rubbermaid tubs full of inventory  Check!

Business license and seller’s permit  Check! Check!

I feel excited, happy, anxious and ready, all at once. Eeeeeeek! Wish me luck!

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas


It was day or two after Thanksgiving 2005, Paul was going to deploy to Iraq within the week.  We had done all the paperwork.  We had prepared the children.  We had discussed what  would happen if . . .    We had done everything we could think of.  I was sad, anxious and scared.  I started clenching my jaw.  I clenched so tightly and for so many weeks that by the time Paul was leaving, I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough to eat a peanut butter sandwich.

That day we were headed to Ft. Hood for something, a last minute errand.  We were at the the train tracks on Ft. Hood Street and Veteran’s Memorial Boulevard watching a train go by.  The DJ on the radio talked about the song Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.  

He told us that Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas was written for the movie Meet Me in St. Louis, in the 1940’s.  The lyrics were really dark, reflecting the war weary mood of America at the time.  Judy Garland was supposed to sing the song in the movie, and she did, but she thought the lyrics were too dismal for the scene to which the song belonged.  She asked the composers to change a few of the lines; they did and the version we most recognize is the one we she sings in the movie.

The DJ was going to play a different version.  It was recorded by Frank Sinatra for troops who were still fighting in WWII with a mix of the original lyrics and alternate lyrics. When Frank sang, ” . . . Next year all our troubles will be out of site . . . “, it reflected  the mood in the car and I cried and we both wished for “next year” to arrive quickly.

Although I never really liked that song before, it holds bittersweet significance for us now.

These are the lyrics, Frank Sinatra sang and they are the ones I like the best.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
Next year all our troubles will be miles away

Once again as in olden days, happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us, will be near to us once more.

Someday soon, we all will be together, if the Fates allow
Until then, we’ll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

These are the original lyrics.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
It may be your last
Next year we may all be living in the past

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Pop that champagne cork
Next year we may all be living in New York

No good times like the olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who were dear to us
Will be near to us no more

But at least we all will be together
If the Lord allows
From now on, we’ll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Judy was right, kinda dark wouldn’t you agree?  The photo at the top was taken when I dropped Paul off for OIF 05-06.    I’ve had all these memories running around my brain as we decorate and try to have fun with our traditions without our Dad and wanted to get them written down.  Thanks for indulging me.


Quiet Thanksgiving


This is a short week.  The kids are out of school on Wednesday.  We had plans to go to San Diego again and then to go to St. George but in the end I decided to stay here. We’ve been traveling so much and I’m ready to have a few days where we don’t do anything.  Robin and Paul are staying in No. Utah so it will just be the four of us.  When I tell people that, I see a look of pity cross their faces, but a small Thanksgiving dinner with my kids, no visitors, no traveling. no making arraignments for the dog, is just what the doctor ordered for this weary girl.

I do have a few things to do though before I can relax:

  • Mail Paul’s birthday box
  • Put finishing touches on Christmas list
  • Buy any decorations still needed for our ‘blue’ Christmas
  • Giant wreath (I’m sort of losing steam on this one, we’ll see)
  • Piece the tops of the two Christmas quilts
  • Find a place where I can buy a flocked tree.

The picture above is from my friend Laura’s home.  It is the first flocked tree that looked good to me.  I can easily picture it with blue and silver decorations.

If I can get all or most of these things done I will be able to chill and enjoy the holiday with my kids.  Wish me luck.