Fire-Breathing Dragons, Yoga Pants and Agency

2014 was a good year for me. It was an emotional year but a good year.

It started out with the highest of highs when Paul came home, the memory of which still makes me giddy. 2014 also brought me the lowest of lows as I grieved with my closest childhood friend.

I faced and conquered fears that were terrifying to me. As they almost always are, the fears turned out not to be the fire-breathing dragons I’d seen in my head but rather annoying pebbles that needed to be shaken out of my shoes.

Fear is a liar.

I worked hard and accomplished some things I was very proud of and I put off other things I just didn’t want to deal with. I’m looking at you, running shoes and yoga pants.

Our family reached some happy milestones like the purchase of a new house. I found a few apron strings cut as well and this is something I always find painful and I rarely do willingly.

I felt real maturity and development in many of my personal relationships when I learned, yet again, to be as kind as possible but also very honest. My favorite parts of the year were made of these moments.

As I look forward to 2015, I see challenges and celebrations; I see happy times and without a doubt, some uncomfortable growth.

I have always loved the idea of being a part of a team, adding my small part of make a giant whole. This year, however I feel like the captain of my own ship, directing my life and acting for myself, rather than being apart of a crew, with someone else deciding where I will go and how I will contribute.

For the first time in my 45 years, I feel my agency in the purest way and I feel empowered and eager and equal to any tasks that lay ahead.

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2 comments

  1. Sue. says:

    oh those 40s….what a great time in life! And it just gets better!
    Wishing you a wonderful 2015!

  2. Robin says:

    Love you, Rachel! Your 2015 will be great!

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